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Cruel Britannia: Cheeky Brits savage Trump as he ventures out of his Fox News safety zone

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From The Star, June 3, 2019

Those who believe Donald Trump is a threat to democracy and a menace to all that is good and decent in this already chaotic world should closely monitor his trip to the U.K. this week for invaluable tips on how to protest a despised leader.

Perhaps it’s the country’s rich history of political satire. Maybe it’s a culture hard-wired to detect and call out “wankers” and “tossers.” Whatever the reason, Trump’s visit to the U.K. is, once again, shaping up to be a global master class in how to troll an elected official with savage wit, venom and merciless ridicule.

Trump probably wishes he spent this week in an immigrant detention centre.

Even before he touched down on English soil, a local teenager who lives on a farm along the presidential flight path was granted permission by his parents to mow the outline of, well, a giant penis and testicles into the grass. As my kids this weekend were at their year-end dance recital, this British lad devoted 18 gruelling hours to grooming the weeds to ensure Trump got his phallic message from high above, including the words, “Oi Trump” and “Climate Change Is Real.”That is dedication. That is vision. And this young fellow was not alone.

On Monday, the wires moved photos from around London that showed protesters hoisting placards with anti-Trump messages such as: “Impeachment Is Coming,” “The Statue of Taking Liberties” and “Orange Is The New Stupid.”

No wonder Trump seemed so rattled before awkwardly deboarding Air Force One on Monday and failing, once again, to grab Melania’s hand as he sauntered before the rolling cameras. At this point, it’s clear Melania would rather wrap her fingers around a live grenade. Her disdain for her husband is past the point of return.

Meanwhile, in a pre-visit interview with U.K. newspaper The Sun, Trump nearly caused an international incident when he responded to Meghan Markle’s past criticisms of him as a divisive misogynist with: “I didn’t know that she was nasty.”

That N-word is Trump’s go-to insult for any woman who calls out his garbage. But this “nasty” contretemps only got worse when Trump, for reasons only the rabid bats in his brain understand, attempted to deny calling Markle “nasty,” when in audio from the interview, you can clearly hear him using the word “nasty.”

It’s as if Bugs Bunny vehemently denied ever saying, “What’s up, Doc?”

Not content with getting into an ill-advised spat with Duchess Meghan, who has far greater global appeal and clout, Trump also unleashed on London’s Mayor Sadiq Khan, who has criticized the British government for rolling out the red carpet this week.

As Trump rage-tweeted from Air Force One on Monday: “.@SadiqKhan, who by all accounts has done a terrible job as Mayor of London, has been foolishly ‘nasty’ to the visiting President of the United States, by far the most important ally of the United Kingdom. He is a stone cold loser who should focus on crime in London, not me......”

But this is what Trump doesn’t seem to understand.

The widespread planned protests across the U.K. this week — including the return of the so-called Trump Baby Blimp on Tuesday — prove only how the U.S. president is so very alone when removed from his base and the bootlicking embrace of Fox News, a cable network that is not available in the U.K. and much of the free world.

Outside of America, there is no Fox News Effect to temper this president’s incompetence, or to help create alternate realities that muddy the waters of corruption. If Sean Hannity attempted to pull off one of his pro-Trump opening monologues in Earl’s Court, he’d be doused with beer and given a wedgie. So for the protesters in London this week, there are no counter-protesters to contend with. There is only a grassroots effort to paint Trump as a global threat and disgrace.

And what must really burn Trump is how this reality is already set in stone.

By sharp contrast, on Sunday, former U.S. president Barack Obama was at the Raptors game and he received a deafening ovation from the crowd. You could almost see people tearing up with joy at his presence. Obama, to that crowd, represents a time when America was great.

But in Britain this week, Trump is America at its historical worst.

The current U.S. president is literally the blimp that will return to London skies on Tuesday: a six-metre orange baby in a diaper prone to snarling temper tantrums. He is a global villain, a source of treachery, a symbol of political dysfunction.

The British, when reacting to Trump’s presence on their home turf, 


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